it eats, it sleeps, it fucks. it's blind. darkness eterne. it's deaf. silence eterne. it's dumb. ignorance eterne. (->)
i wake up. it's 5 pm. it doesnt matter what time i wake up. 5 pm, 9 pm, 12 pm, 1 am. it doesnt matter, it ends up the same anyway. i step out of bed, floor creaks. above me is my light. i pull the string. black light, wings of black light. "black light", contradiction; purple. purple light'd eminate.
Perennial thee, to perennial thou. Find'st me, find'st me! This world corrupt, unjust, impure. This world perish'd upon mine breast! O', woe! Dost thou thinkest mine world betrayeth decay? Wherefore? Thou think'st mine words, they doth untrue? Ha! Pity upon thy. Indeed! That pity for which anger thou hast taken! I want not thy demise, thy to crumble. I want not vengeance, vengeance; pity me! PITY ME! HA! Continue
why can't people be who they want to be? i can't accept the world as it is. i wish for a pure world, a world where people could be beautiful. i want you to be yourself, i don't want you to hold back. i know it's hard, maybe impossible at times. it's a pain i can't face. there's so much potential, i've felt and seen it that potential feels limitless ... Continue
she feels pain. he feels pain. "what am i? am i real? what am i?" it's hard. she wants to be herself, why can't she? she is, but she's not. everyone should be. it's hard, society is cruel; a conveyer belt. the assembly line pushing drone, drone everything. she wants to be beautiful, but how? what is beautiful? beautiful to her is atypical, is atypical good? ... Continue
i just want us to be happy. im happy. not really? dont know, hard to say. sometimes im happy, sometimes im miserable. unfulfilled. i want you to be happy. i know why you're not, and it's ok. i want to make you happy; i want to fix you. it's not my job, but i have to do it. it's in my heart, it's in my soul. i just want to see you smile. i want to see you comfortable. you will be, i promise. just let me, ok? ... Continue
i dont want to die. they will never understand what we want, it's impossible. i want it, you want it; but it is a pipedream. you can't fault "normal" people for thinking we are crazy; but they will know in death what we mean. they will feel our thoughts and desires, just like we want ... Continue
its stressful. i just want it to stop. i get urges, i get angry, i get frustrated, i get depressed; an angry sadness, a sadness i cant love. why does it bother me so much? i couldnt even fucking move breathing heavily. i gripped nothing as hard i could grip. i saw myself bashing my ... Continue
"writhe in bed time." i close my eyes. sink and merge, my legs and arms remain somewhat restless. it's comfortable, i'm comfortable. warmth forebodes my body, a hug from god ... Continue
we'll live forever, we'll die together. we'll become one, together forever. our heart, our soul. our love, our pain.
i love you so much.
swallow and let's go. let's wait a bit, the calm before the storm? i don't know, it's been a long time, maybe never? wait. still waiting. oh, there you are. familiar feeling through arms and legs, it's okay. huh, words split in 2. words split stretched. words betray comprehencmrozwkefs- i'm slipping back i'm falling through fuck i don't want this? i don't want this? i don't want this? ... Continue
where one world ends, another begins. locked away, infosphere grows exponential. social paradigm shifts from physical to transpersonal, unveiling the way to vast webs of communication. small colonies exist there; pilgrims, leading a way to the new existence ... Continue
curled up touch loss don't know. it's here and material, light warm candles inside. love smoke empathy embers, slips into bed. i'm here, i'm comfortable. closed eyes, whisked away. green tendril blue tendril: cuts black, immaterial; soul apparent ... Continue
Weird! Nothing going on here. Anybody else see who got married? Anybody see those celebrities break up? Did you see those (SAME SEX!) celebrities making out? It's a crazy world we live in, it's hot, fast, sleek and changing; here today gone tomorrow ... Continue
maybe ill delete this when i wake up or maybe i wont idk i feel like im sobered up to own pressing on this one, maybe ill be really embarrassed.
coming down off a very strength 25e trip which usually makes me want to write things even if its something g*y like a """blog post""" ... Continue
today the thoughts ablaze, everyday the same way. ruminations parallaxed through internal nocs. electronic escape puts the mind to ease, for this a debt unpaid. in the roots insects burrow, an aura of agony ... Continue
Friday, August 15th, 2003. 10 o'clock PM EST (7 o'clock PM PST). Dark night (#2E2E2E, https://www.color-hex.com/ color/2e2e2e) and a moon whole (#F3F3F3, https://www.color -hex.com/color/f3f3f3) I wandered to the retention pond (Lat: 28.688283, Long: -81.459296), murky water (approx#004931, https://www.color-hex.com/color/004931) whereupon I stumbled a noise beckon'd ... Continue